Do you keep all the cards you receive? I do. When I have spare time I even paste them into scrapbooks in
all their lovely glory. Behind
each sentiment or floral cover, I cherish the words written by my friends. I especially love the ones from my late
husband with his signature and phrase. He ended each missive to me with the
symbols: “Alpha, Omega. Infinity.”
Which means: you are my everything and I will love you forever.
Those inside notes are priceless, but we should not forget
the message that adorns each cover.
Do you peer at your cards and ponder the thoughts of the individual that
made each purchase? I do. You see my mother rarely writes more
than a sentence in every card she sends.
She does not think her words can say what she wishes to say. So she ponders each card until she
finds the perfect one that matches her love of her daughter. She buys that one. She mails that one. I know to read the cover very carefully.
My mother depends on cards like the ones Hallmark makes to tell me how much she loves me.
Due to the plethora of choice in the birthday card isle she always picks the perfect
one. And so it goes for my son’s
births and other momentous events in my life. But in the summer 2009 Hallmark failed my mother.
Hallmark failed my husband too. There are no hospice cards. For two months after Fred was hospitalized we received a
tower of “Get Well Soon” cards.
Fred rejoiced in each of these cards and they filled the hospital rooms,
reminding Fred of all his friends who cared for him.
When we went to hospice, the cards stopped. We would get the occasional “Thinking
of you” with the blank inside and few words from the sender. Or God forbid, we would get a
“Sympathy” card. Fred raised
his eyebrow with dark humor and would say: “I guess they don’t realize I am not
dead yet.”
So recently, during a twitter chat sponsored by TEDMED, we
were having a “Great Challenges” discussion about how to have an end of life
conversation. I suggested Hallmark
needed to make hospice cards. The
group thought it an excellent idea, and I immediately set up a petition on
change.org.
I encourage you to sign the petition here: Hallmark: Create Hospice Cards.
Soon people asked me why not start my own card line; after
all I am an artist. I responded, I
was not doing this as business venture or as an attempt to have Hallmark use my
work. When I was asked how do we
encourage people have “the conversation.”
I said the answer was Hallmark creating hospice cards. They have an amazing reach into every
corner of America. If they create
a card on this topic they will open up the conversation nationwide.
Some other people asked why a petition? Why not ask Hallmark directly? Well, I have been trying to do that for
a year. I called them directly and
went through several layers of customer service and was told they would report
the idea. As I have several
friends in the Kansas City area I also tried back channel contacts to no avail. I have learned as an activist,
sometimes you must be disruptive to be noticed. Only when you are noticed can you be heard.
I began tweeting about the petition and Hallmark did respond
that they had appropriate choices in their Gold Crown Stores.
I used their internal search engine to find a hospice card
and found nothing. Here is a screen shot of my search:
Soon after we had 50 people sign the petition and a Hallmark
spokeswoman responded to us:
"We agree that a card can help people support loved ones going through difficult situations and their caregivers, and Hallmark has many choices for this need within several different card lines. If you're having trouble finding one, we suggest visiting a Hallmark Gold Crown store and asking a sales associate to help you find a card for someone in hospice care. Thank you for your caring hearts."
I don’t think this response really addresses our
request. I am well aware that
Hallmark makes blank cards and all occasion cards. We
need cards about the end of a life just as much as we need cards at the
beginning. We need the script that
Hallmark so lovingly provides in almost every other moment in a life.
We need a card that my mother can send, a card that will say
all the important things. For
there are so many people like my mother in this world, so many people who can
have this important conversation if Hallmark just leads the way.
No one should die with an empty mailbox.
A wonderful movement. I'm waiting for the petition site to be back up to sign.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we could look to smaller, grass roots card companies that want the recognition and actually care, and leave out the big industry who just don't get it!
The site is up, you should be able to sign. There are some small venders doing this, but if we can get Hallmark to join in it would affect availability of such cards nationwide and help folks talk about end of life.
ReplyDeleteUpdate: Now if you type "hospice" or "end of life" in the Hallmark search field some possible choices come up! Blank/thinking of you/religious. Progress!
ReplyDelete